Great Expectations: the life of Joseph (as in Mary &...)

Often during the Christmas season I find myself focusing on one of the people in the story. This year? It’s Joseph (as in Mary and...)

What I’ve been thinking about is how Joseph was a man who constantly had to be adjusting his expectations, plans, hopes, dreams.

We’re told that Joseph was a righteous man. We may read that today and think “this means Joseph was a good guy.”  Except… that the phrase a “righteous man” - a Tzadik - was a formal term used for people like Moses and Abraham. A Tzadik would have been someone  with deep spiritual wisdom, holy, recognized and respected in the community.

At the time of the Christmas story, Mary was probably 13 years old. 

Joseph was probably between 18 and 20. If we were meet him today, we’d probably call him an “old soul.”  Wise beyond his years.

Perhaps Joseph, as a Tzadik, chose Mary. 

In the small village of Nazareth - probably only a couple hundred people - perhaps Joseph the Tzadik, the righteous man, had been waiting until a girl came of age who seemed to share his passion for God and for the laws of God. 

OR perhaps Joseph’s parents had arranged for Joseph and Mary to marry years before when they were both children. 

Either way… Joseph gets to see how God is at work stirring Mary’s heart, making her into a woman who pursues God. I would think Joseph would be grateful.

In ancient Israel, once a couple were betrothed - legally promised to one another - then once a woman came of age at 12 1/2, the families would determine when the marriage ceremony would take place. Usually there was a year between the betrothal and the marriage —- and in this year, the man’s job was to physically prepare a home to bring his new bride to.

In Nazareth, that might have been a home built into a cave. When Joseph wasn’t hard at work earning a living (probably in Sepphoris, an hours walk), he would spend his time working on this home that he would be sharing with Mary.

I imagine that as he chiseled out rock, and built walls, a table… the whole time he was laboring on this house, he was imagining his life in the future with Mary. He was imagining the children they’d have. And how they would be pillars in the community, pointing people around them to God.

I imagine he was looking forward to the wedding… when both he and Mary would put on the special garments, and they would have a procession through the village streets, sign the marriage contract publicly, receive the blessing of their parents, and finish with a feast. 

And as Joseph is working on this house, he hears that Mary has gone to visit her relative Elizabeth. And he’s reminded that HE is of the royal line of David. And Mary is of the priestly line of Aaron. What a holy, righteous, respected, honorable family they will be.

Vision. Hope. Expectation.

But then… 

Joseph finds out that Mary is pregnant.

Perhaps Mary’s father comes to tell him. Perhaps he hears through gossip.

But Mary - righteous, holy Mary - is pregnant. And Joseph knows the child is not his.

This completely messes up Joseph’s hopes and dreams and expectations. 

Joseph is a righteous man. He’s a tzadik!  He should have the wise, holy answer.

But Mary’s pregnancy offers no easy answers. 

If Joseph follows the letter of law? Mary could be killed for unfaithfulness. 

If he divorces her publicly… which meant a public declaration going through the streets? 

That actually puts Mary in danger.

If he divorces her quietly… does it look like he’s saying the child is his?

If he marries her, people definitely assume the child is his. And in this culture, that’s moral failure, because it demonstrates that you didn’t have enough self-control to stay pure until the wedding. 

No matter what option he picks, the respect he has in a small community as a tzadik is gone. 

He concludes that his best option is to divorce Mary quietly, although in a town of 200, it’s not going to be quiet for long.

But then… there’s the dream. 

An angel of the Lord speaking 

“Joseph son of David,  (reminding Joseph that he is of the royal line) do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you - Joseph - YOU are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

Why is it important for Joseph to name Jesus? Because in the naming he takes Jesus as his own. He names Jesus, and says “this is my son. My firstborn son. My heir.”

And so rather than a quiet divorce, it’s a quiet wedding. No procession, no special garments, no feast. 

Here’s where we discover: Joseph isn’t just a tsadik on the outside, but on the inside... he makes a decision to follow God’s call, even when it ruins his reputation.

So a new dream for the future must take shape:

Joseph is to care for the son of God. 

In Nazareth. 

In the home he’s already been working on. 

But then... it’s the government’s turn to mess up his expectations. 

He has to go to his ancestral land - Bethlehem. 

Maybe Joseph and Mary immediately think  “ah-ha! Bethlehem! The place where prophecy says the Messiah is to be born!”

 OR… maybe they think 

“Why is the government messing up our lives?” and don’t think about the prophecy until later. 

In either case, once again, expectations, hopes, dreams, have to shift. 

Mary’s not going to have the baby with her mother next to her. 

The women who assist will probably be second cousins of Joseph that she’s never met. 

I’m guessing laying the newborn son of God in a cattle feeding trough wasn’t part of the dream.

Of course there are things that happen on this journey that are way above and beyond expectations in a good way. 

Shepherds with a story of angels lighting up the sky. Glory to God in the highest! Affirmation of this crazy road they are on. God showing up in an awesome way.

A new expectation for their life for their future, forms in their minds. 

They will settle in Bethlehem. A bigger village with less people who know their past and will judge. AND people who have heard the shepherd’s story and either believe or wonder enough to give grace.

Within a couple of years, after they are settled in Bethlehem, another unexpected happening, 

way beyond expectations: the wisemen with their entourage from the east arrive, bearing precious gifts, telling how the star called them, worshipping the baby.

If people in Bethlehem hadn’t yet believed, an entourage from another country has to convince them! So life is going to be good in Bethlehem, right?

But then that night… Joseph has another dream…

Run. 

Now.

Herod is after the child. 

Become a refugee. 

Go to Egypt… 

probably a trip of 250 miles to Alexandria where there is a sizable Jewish settlement.

Away from family, culture, territory that you know. 

God’s provided for the trip… the wisemen left valuable gifts, enough to finance a long trip and resettle in another land.  

But is this what Joseph expected of life? Not a chance.

And then… after they’d lived in Egypt for a number of years, getting settled … another dream. 

Time to go back home. 

Joseph originally thinks this means Bethlehem, but one more dream drives him to Nazareth.  Where this all began.  Perhaps they finally arrive at the house he built those years before. 

Did the people of Nazareth welcome them? 

We don’t know. 

But we do know that Joseph was a man who was probably expecting life to go one way

… and life didn’t meet his expectation. He had good hopes. But they were hopes of a life that was not to be.

Joseph also WAS a man who - every time we see him - set aside his expectations and hopes and dreams to listen to the voice of God.

Christmas is a time of year with a lot of expectations. Expectations for family, for home, for ministry. It’s too easy for us - or for those we minister to - to be living in a constant state of disappointment. 

And it’s not just Christmas. For those of us in ministry, we come into ministry, with a sense expectation and hope, perhaps even feeling that we are tzadik... righteous people, who should be respected. 

But… I’m guessing that for most of us, life and ministry has not been what we expected it to be.

The question is: are we like Joseph?

When our hopes or dreams aren’t met, do we pause and listen for the voice of God? Do we look for his unexpected miracles? Or do we become disappointed or angry or apathetic?

Joseph chose to listen. And as a result, he had the opportunity to be there when the savior of the world was born. He got to see prophecy fulfilled. The Spirit move. Miracles happen. 

This Christmas season and this next year, let’s be like Joseph.

There will be plenty of plans that don’t work. Plenty of dreams that die.

But if we listen for the voice of God allowing Him to send us on new, unexpected adventures, full of His Spirit and glory, then I believe we will see miracles happen, a savior proclaimed, the world around us changed.