Mother's Day

I confess:  I never had any deep desire to be a mom.  I'm not sure why, but I have two guesses:

The first is that there were so many things in my life I wanted to do.  I wasn't sure how raising a family would fit.

The second?  I had the mom who everyone loved, and I had NO idea how I'd be as good a mom as her.  Ours was the house that everyone wanted to hang out in.  For my friends coming from less-than-ideal homes, I knew she was a second mom to them.  Our house was always immaculate,  my mom was a great cook, everything always seemed to be under control.  (She still talks about the day our car broke down in the high school lot and she was wearing her slipper shoes and was so embarrassed.  What strikes me in the story is that this might be a regular occurrence for me!).

And so... Having a family was never part of the plan.  Oh yeah, and the fact that I married at 40!

But in regards to this mom thing, two things have caught me by surprise on this life's journey.

The first is Jennifer.  For those of you who don't know, Jennifer came to live with us on her 16th birthday.  It started as a temporary thing, the kid needed a place to live.  We became rookie parents to a 16 year old in our forties.  How often did my mom's voice, action, love come to mind as I was figuring out how to parent?  More times than I can count.  Ten year later, and somehow Jenn's our daughter, and my mom is her "nana."  Jenn's in the process of buying her first home right now, and I'm realizing how much I'll miss her presence in this house.  She's become part of my life in a way that snuck up on me, stealing my heart.

Second:  while I was young I pushed back from motherhood because it would hinder ministry.  But now?  Almost all of my ministry is functioning as a "mom" to an "extended family."  Missional Community is about creating "extended families" (not blood related, but doing life together) with a purpose.  And so over and over again, I find myself in this role of mom, realizing that my mother probably has more impact on the kind of ministry I do now than seminary ever did.  Our home is open.  We have people over for meals.  I talk to people as an older family member.  My home is not nearly as clean or organized as my mother's, and my husband does the cooking.  But the openness, the warmth, the grace of our home, and the way we interact here?  That's got the stamp of my mom.

Thanks, mom.  And Happy Mothers Day!