Grace in Grief

Twelve days ago my mother-in-law died of congestive heart failure.  She was a wonderful woman -- I knew her as a leader in my congregation before I knew her as my mother-in-law, and she was full of wisdom and grace and laughter.

For the past few years, she had been failing due to Alzheimer's, and so we have been in the grieving process for awhile.  When she died, we had no doubt that she went to heaven to be with Jesus, whom she so greatly loved.  We know she is in a better place.

But still... I miss her laugh.  Even in the midst of the Alzheimer's, she loved to laugh (often about her own secret jokes that we could not decipher because of the disease). 

Grief is a strange beast.  It can be forgotten one moment, and rear its head the next.  This is why I'm thankful that God's grace shows up often in its midst.

During the past couple of weeks, God's grace has shown up in expected places --- people who came to the visitation and the funeral.  Scripture that was read.  The funeral service that was beautiful.  Cards that continue to come.

God's grace has also shown up in unexpected place.  The morning after she died, we were getting ready to attend church (our church plant doesn't meet on Sundays, so we go somewhere else).  My husband looked out the window and saw about 20 cardinals on our lawn.  My mother-in-law loved cardinals... and my natural-resource-specialist husband had never seen so many in one place.  They stayed around our kitchen windows for about 10 minutes while we oohed and aahed, and then were gone.  We then headed to church... where the pastor prayed a prayer that God clearly meant for us (my husband commented:  "it's nice that God planned that service for us and then invited so many other people").

Grieving is hard work.  But God's grace is something that continues to carry us and lighten the load.